Just because you have a set of rules doesn’t mean you have principles. Please do not confuse the two. Principles have weight and merit. They are a lot more cumberson to carry around. It’s the difference between a shaving kit and a full suite of Louis Vuitton luggage. After awhile your arm gets tired.
As for me, I pretty much believe my mother raised me up right. To respect other people, unless and until they give you a reason not to. To value myself. I had been caught in a trap of my own making several years back. By choosing men who practically went out of their way to demonstrate to me just how little regard they had for me and my feelings. Yet, somehow I thought THAT was my lot in life. It was during a period of time when Robert and I were separated. I left him behind in San Antonio while I pursued some big dream in Houston.
Like a moth to a flame I was drawn to a pathetic loser of an individual who had me believing he was the answer to all my prayers (nevermind that I hadn’t even been praying!). One big clue that your boyfriend is a loser: NONE of your friends like him! Well, duh!
Somehow, though, finally, the “relationship” (and I use that term very loosely) reached its apogee. It wasn’t the WORST thing James had ever done to me, you understand. It was, very simply, the LAST thing he would ever do to me.
The spell was broken, I went on to bigger and better dating disasters and Robert and I finally came to our collective senses and have been together ever since.
To allow oneself to become the plaything of another, to believe the other person holds the key to your own happiness, to think, say or do nothing for yourself, but to carefully couch everything in what that OTHER PERSON wants…. That is a prison I never want to be held in again. Ever.
And if you’ve been reading my blog for any length of time, you may recall that what comes around goes around. I had decided to try to watch the local papers, read the obits, to see if fate finally dealt him the hand he deserved. But after a month or so of that, I grew bored and now I really just don’t care.
I hope I’m never faced with that situation. To be at death’s door (or at least thinking I am), and trying to rally some troops for support. Only to find that everyone has closed the door in my face; turned a deaf ear; just plain doesn’t give a shit. Well, I’ll have my principles to keep me warm.