Discoveries

Since I’ve been recuperating from my foot infection, there isn’t a lot I can do around the house right now besides hobble back and forth from the kitchen to the bedroom or living room. I was able to sit down and sift through some of Roberto’s things. It’s something every widow must do eventually, and depending on circumstances, sooner rather than later. Maybe you’ve got to locate deeds, wills, insurance policies and other documents. We led a simple life so that wasn’t the purpose of my quest. Actually, I was just clearing a table off and ran across a mini Day-Timer diary that I had bought for him to take with him to the hospital. So he could make notes, write down information, etc. Robert did use the book as somewhat of a diary, as evidenced by this very touching entry back in March 2011: 3-13 moved from ICU to room 2037 some time today. Wife came for xtended stay. Love watching her do her computer thing. She slept 4.5 hours. I cried when I read that. For several reasons. First, because he expressed real eagerness to get out of the ICU to a regular room. And second of all, …

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A Man’s Dictionary

Phrase: “I’m going fishing.” Definition: “I’m going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand by a lake with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety.” Phrase: “It’s a guy thing.” Definition: “There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical.” Phrase: “Can I help with dinner?” Definition: “Why isn’t it already on the table?” Phrase: “Uh huh,” “Sure, honey,” “Yes, dear.” Definition: Absolutely nothing. They are conditioned responses. Phrase: “It would take too long to explain.” Definition: “I have no idea how it works.” Phrase: “We’re going to be late.” Definition: “Now I have a legitimate excuse to drive like a maniac.” Phrase: “I was listening to you. It’s just that I have things on my mind.” Definition: “I was wondering if that red-head over there is wearing a bra.” Phrase: “Take a break, honey, you’re working too hard.” Definition: “I can’t hear the game over the vacuum cleaner.” Phrase: “That’s women’s work.” Definition: “It’s difficult, dirty, and thankless.” Phrase: “You know how bad my memory is.” Definition: “I remember the theme song to ‘F Troop’, the address of the first girl I …

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Chick Drinks .. a Men’s Guide

I’ve been spending this quiet, cold, rainy Saturday afternoon cleaning out my email inbox and doing some major house work. Found this, kinda cute. Seven New York City bartenders were asked if they could nail a woman’s personality based on what she drinks. though interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts. The results: Beer Personality: Casual, low maintenance, down to earth. Your Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool. Blender Drinks Personality: Flaky, annoying, a pain in the ass Your Approach: Avoid her unless you want to be her cabin boy Mixed Drinks Personality: Older, has picky taste; knows what she wants Your Approach: You won’t have to approach her, she’ll send YOU a drink Wine (does not include White Zinfandel, see below) Personality: Conservative and classy; sophisticated Your Approach: Tell her you wish Reagan had had four more years, Alzheimer’s and term limits be damned White Zin Personality: Easy; thinks she’s classy and sophisticated; actually has no clue Your Approach: Make her feel smarter than she is Shots Personality: Hankging with frat boy pals or looking to get drunk — and naked Your Approach: Easiest hit in the joint. Nothing to do but wait BTW, if you …

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