A Quote For Roberto

“You’ll get over it…” It’s the clichés that cause the trouble. To lose someone you love is to alter your life forever. You don’t get over it because ‘it” is the person you loved. The pain stops, there are new people, but the gap never loses. How could it? The particularness of someone who mattered enough to grieve over is not made anodyne by death. This hole in my heart is in the shape of you and no-one else can fit it. Why would I want them to?” ~ Jeanette Winterson (Written on the Body)

Missing… Read It And Weep

One good thing about having a cold. You can go ahead and cry and people will just attribute your puffy eyes and blotchy face as another manifestation of that disease. I’ve been doing a lot of crying lately. As much or more as when the death happened. I know there is no time limit on grief, I still think of my mother and tears well up in my eyes, and she’s been gone 30 years. I’ve actually known Robo longer than I knew my mother, 31 years versus 22 years. So naturally his death hit me hard.

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One Lucky Bitch

I just have to put this out there. Like the title says, I am one lucky bitch. One supremely blessed fool. And like most humans, ninety-nine percent of the time, I’m completely oblivious to just how fortunate I am. Until it seems I may lose that which I have taken for granted. And for that transgression, sometimes I think I don’t deserve what I have. Don’t deserve my wonderful husband or my best friend or my nice life or my well-paying job. Any or all of those could be gone tomorrow. Some of that is within my control and some isn’t. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not ALL peaches and cream here. But it’s certainly not BAD. So there are a few people I should thank more often and appreciate more often than I do.

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