Drive-Thru Drive-By

Coming home from the hospital tonight (I took the night off from Big Law to take care of Robo’s medical issues), I ended up in a drive thru in an admittedly not so great part of town (between TMC and my hood). Next thing I know, I am rear-ended and pushed forward several feet by the idiot in the black SUV behind me who was actually gunning for her passenger who’d stepped up to the drive-thru window on foot. They fled the scene of course. Police were called, but what could they do, really? I’m sure that by morning those two will have forgotten the episode. However, just in case a dead body or two should turn up, there is at least a semblance of a report and a vague description of the vehicle and occupants (on my part), eyewitness accounts (on the parts of two servers), and drive-thru lane video footage. Oy. The damage wasn’t bad; I probably won’t even report it. The irony is that there is this exact establishment blocks from my home, but I wanted to sip iced tea on the 20 minute drive from TMC to my driveway; otherwise I’d have waited until I was …

Read moreDrive-Thru Drive-By

Crime 101

One key to being a successful criminal is to be smarter than your prey. This guy failed miserably. I saw he had a khaki hat with ADT on it, Jackie Baldwin-Doakes said. When I opened the door, he said he was with GE and he said nothing about ADT. All I’m going to tell any would-be burglars about my home is that I have a gun and I know how to use it. And to quote Seth Gecko (George Clooney’s character in From Dusk Til Dawn), [i]f you try to run, I’ve got six little friends and they can all run faster than you can.

Where’s Barney Fife When You Need Him?

Houston police have just revealed that 30 firearms have gone missing from the police property room over the past six months. This is supposed to be a secure area but apparently security is lax. Uh, ya THINK? No one has been charged in the gun thefts, although police suspected telephone repairmen who admitted stealing other items, and a temporary employee who had access to the property room while awaiting trial on aggravated robbery charges. WTF? Okay, let’s review. A temporary employee, awaiting trial on aggravated robbery charges, had access to that area. Do background checks mean nothing to HPD? Shit, I passed a hot check in 1980 right after my mother died (I was grief-stricken; that’s my story and I’m sticking to it) and I sweated that when I was waiting for my notary commission earlier this year. Jeez. And the telephone repairmen, who apparently had a moral ephiphany and admitted to taking the guns… And they aren’t locked up because? And me? I’d just love to see what a $13 million dollar property room looks like. Police say they have improved security including adding cameras, and they plan to open a new, $13.8 million property room next year. The …

Read moreWhere’s Barney Fife When You Need Him?