Open Letter to My Neighbor

Dear Asshat:

Cranking up your surround-sound so that blood runs out of my ears and plaster flies from my walls is really pointless in a room that is at most 12×14. How do I know this? I have the exact same freakin’ size room! Keeping the volume setting below 2,456 would be great, eh?

The best I can hope for at this point is that thieves for miles around can hear your booming speakers and will come check them out (and take them away!) while you are at work…

I’m just sayin.

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