My First Ever Fucktard Award

Goes to this brainless idiot who posted his problem at alt.sys.pc-clone.compaq:

Idiot’s Cry for Help:
Hi there,

Sorry about the overly dramatic title, it is more that it has crippled and maimed my poor little laptop. The story so far: Non-compaq laptop has a little breakdown. A failed install of windows leaves me unable to boot properly. Not having a floppy drive for this laptop I mope around for a week or two before coming up with the fantastic idea of trying to use my Compaq restore CDs (from my two Presarios) as a boot disk to get me to DOS.

Joy ensues as I am kicked to DOS with a functioning CD drive, yay Compaq, thinks I. Proceed to format c: and attempt to install my windows. Lo and behold, windows can’t access part of my HD, it thinks I have anti-virus turned on. Immediatly I ran fdisk ( a lie, 2 days went by before it occurred to me…) to see if there could be a problem there. Lo and behold, a magical mystery partition. 104 megs, non-dos partition. I figure that RestoreDisk must have put it there before giving me the big red/yellow warning screens
about “This machine is not a Compaq”. Right so, thinks I, away with that partition so I can continue my install. Everything goes swimmingly in fdisk, and as i esc/esc out of fdisk, I see it. Error writing to fixed disk. Bum 🙁 I have been unable to remove this damned partition. I have tried a number of different tools including IBMs own (its a travelstar HD) Zap and Wipe zero-fill, low level format applications. They too give me an error about being unable to write to the disk. I can copy files over to C: etc, thats not an issue. I just cant remove that partition and install my OS.

Where to now? My laptop misses me and I it. Might I add that I now have arranged a completely normal win98 boot-cd, so I don’t need to use the RestoreDisk to get to DOS. Would that I had thought of that sooner. DOH! Please help. [name deleted to spare embarrassment]

ps hi to the group 🙂 first time here.

And my scathing reply:
[snipped rambling about attempts to format non-Compaq laptop with Compaq software]

You need to keep away from all sharp objects. You know, [another regular poster to the group] is right. And you absolutely win my “fucktard” of the year award. The time to “find” this newsgroup was before YOU murdered your laptop. You are a special brand of idiot who thinks he already knows everything there is to know about computer equipment. When in reality, it sounds to me like you know less about computer hardware than my CAT. Sheesh.

Don’t blame the Compaq quick restore software for your own stupidity. That Quickrestore disk was created for a specific line of Compaq machines. And not all Compaq Quickrestore CDs will work on all Compaq computers. Do what you were told in an earlier post. But first, run FDISK again, this time with the /mbr (restore master boot record) switch turned on. Uh, do you think you can do that? Then put your OS on, reinstall your applications, leave the fucking thing alone.

You are not a computer genius! Until you learn more about your computers and how they operate, DO NOT even attempt to grow a brain (paraphrasing Dennis Hopper’s great line from “Speed”).

Z
http://home.houston.rr.com/robertoandjoni/5461.html (Compaq Presario information)
http://home.houston.rr.com/robertoandjoni/4160.html (Compaq Armada 4100 laptop information)

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