In Defense of the Internet

Actually, the Internet is a good thing. (No, I’m not rationalizing here. Let me explain.) I truly believe that if the Internet had been around in its PRESENT form back when I was “single,” then I am convinced that instead of trolling the bars looking for (and finding) all those lew-zers, I’d have been happily in front of a computer, safe at home, doing no evil. (Do you think there’s a lawsuit brewing here? Surely there’s someone I can sue? Can I sue the Internet? Need to think about that awhile!)

And I’m sure that, had my mother lived to see it, she would have LOVED e-Bay! My brother, even though he’s been retired for quite some time, has taken to the Net like a duck to water. He does the e-Bay thing, has his websites he visits, etc. He lives for e-mail! What is so strange about that is that my sister-in-law NEVER goes on line. (Could it be because my brother rarely allows her entrance into the Sanctum Sanctorum where he holds court every day? I really think he at least needs to give her some instructions on a “what if” scenario…. Cancel his e-Bay account, e-mail all his friends, etc.)

Does your significant other know what to do “in the event of….”? I have given Robert instructions. Since he rarely goes online except to check sports stats at ESPN.com and is only on the computer to play Links 2001, he would have no clue about how to go online, pay bills (if I can’t pay it online, it just doesn’t get paid), check balances, etc. I’ve also come to the revelation that what with the 401-K, the pension fund, etc., I’m probably worth more to Robert dead than alive. (He gets the cash, the car, the cats, the prizes and a $110,000 death benefit payoff and probably double if someone murders me…) When I mentioned this to him and the amount, he said, “Well, that should ease my grief a little.” I just bet it would.

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