Caveat Suitor

We had our annual Support Staff party tonight. This year it was held at Regal Ranch, which is a pretty good size hall set on scenic ranchlands. Indoor, in the pavilion, there was a mechanical bull, live music and barbecue.

I did not get on the mechanical bull, but I did pick up a “Release and Hold Harmless Agreement” from the registration table. It made me giggle to myself and then I got a really sinister idea.

Ladies, how would you like to have a prospective suitor hand you one of these (slightly paraphrased) disclaimers prior to going out on a date — or worse yet, prior to going “back to his place”?

Gentlemen, wouldn’t you just love to pass these out to your date, right after dinner, perhaps on the walk back to the car?

RELEASE AND HOLD HARMLESS AGREEMENT

I am about to ride an amusement device commonly known as [name] and being a bucking bull. I hereby acknowledge the fact that I have been apprised and instructed by the operator of such device as to the method of … movement of such amusement device and at my request have had the setting placed to accommodate me as a potential rider, such instruction give to me by the operator.

I am further fully aware of the fact that regardless of all safety precautions, warnings in writing presented to me, and other precautions taken by the operator, that I could be injured by participating in this activity.

In consideration of the above and due to the fact that I now consciously desire to ride this amusement device and further asserting that I am of sane and sound mind and not under the influence of any intoxicating beverages or drugs, do hereby willingly partake of this venture and accordingly release [name], and all agents, officers, employees and assigns from any liability for any injuries or damages that I may suffer while riding such amusement device. I further assume full responsibility for any liabiliity on account of loss of wages due to personal injuries or any other medical expenses or damages for injuries to myself.

There’s also a paragraph below the signature line for the parent or guardian to sign if the prospective “rider” is under the age of twenty one. (Tee hee.)

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