Californy Here I Come

And how do I know when I get there? Why, easy!

You know you’re in California when….

1. Your coworker has 8 body piercings and none are visible.

2. You make over $300,000 and still can’t afford a house.

3. You take a bus and are shocked at two people carrying on
a conversation in English.

4. Your child’s 3rd-grade teacher has purple hair, a nose
ring, and is named Breeze.

5. You can’t remember…is pot illegal?

6. You’ve been to a baby shower that has two mothers and a
sperm donor.

7. You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee
beans are grown and can taste the difference between Sumatran
and Ethiopian.

8. You know which restaurant serves the freshest arugula.

9. You can’t remember…..is pot illegal?

10. A really great parking space can totally move you to tears.

11. Gas costs $1.00 per gallon more than anywhere else in the U.S.

12. A man gets on the bus in full leather regalia and crotchless chaps.
You don’t even notice.

13. Unlike back home, the guy at 8:30 am at Starbucks wearing
the baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney
IS George Clooney.

14. Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.

15. Your hairdresser is straight, your plumber is gay, the woman
who delivers your mail is into S &M, and your Mary Kay rep is a
guy in drag.

16. You can’t remember…is pot illegal?

17. You pass an elementary school playground and the children
are all busy with their cell phones or pagers.

18. It’s barely sprinkling rain outside, so you leave for
work an hour early to avoid all the weather-related accidents.

19. Hey!!!! Is Pot Illegal????

20. Both you AND your dog have therapists.

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